|
Irish Jokes
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife
for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
---------------------------------------------------------
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him
walk.
---------------------------------------------------------
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so
often among themselves is that they're always assured of having
a worthy opponent.
---------------------------------------------------------
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you
ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?"asked Paddy.
---------------------------------------------------------
Question; - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
---------------------------------------------------------
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came
out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the
money?"
---------------------------------------------------------
Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the
window?"
Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
---------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear
spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?"
"No,"said himself, "but I'm getting closer all the time."
---------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
---------------------------------------------------------
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two
o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' up at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.
"Quick!" He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a
baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
---------------------------------------------------------
"O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you
improve your wife's appearance?"
"It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!" |
|
